The Gathering

Yesterday, I attended three very different gatherings.

The first had a simple purpose: to wake up the artist inside me.

After a week of procrastinating on my second oil painting, I needed a spark. It worked. After a couple of hours painting under the burning sun, smelling traces of urine in the alley, and talking to all kinds of strangers, something shifted. The resistance began to dissolve. By the time I packed up my brushes, I felt inspired again, ready to return to the painting that had been waiting for me.

The second gathering had a different purpose: to learn, to play, and hopefully, make a little magic happen.

My confidence was low when I arrived. But I've been there before, in this low confidence, self-judging mode. I know that voice in my head that tells me I am stupid. So I stopped listening to my own judgment and opened myself to whatever I could grasp. I did, it worked. I dived inside the subconcious of the deck of cards. It was fascinating trip. I got lost again at combat, things got confusing again. But somehow, I feel I learned more than I ever had before.

I also felt something beautiful. Magic was happening there, quietly. Slowly. The way an image gradually shows on a canvas after a long hours of struggle. The beauty is in the process, in the struggle, in the difficulty. There is a prize at the end, last only seconds, same as an orgasm. But is worth it. oh so worth it. 

Ideas sparked in my mind. Across from us, sat two asian readers, behind them books and a window to Valencia St.  The curtains were drawn, the room was dim lit, perfect for the vampire. 

Suddenly a spark. A small moment. A magical one. Magic. 3,14 

But I had to leave for a third gathering.

This one took place in a rented room inside a sports bar. Groups of people here, groups of people there. Conversations floated through the room: politics, travel, babies, jobs, relationships, religion.

Nothing wrong with any of it. Just extremely boring, uninterested, mechanical, ah nothing here. Tons of humans but not beings. Words moving from mouth to mouth without creating anything new.

No inspiration. No discovery. No magic. Unless, I make it happen. 

I sat there, and I observe, trying to dive into the subconcious of this new deck, this new configuration of the universe. The Gathering.  

This is all I have so far. will come back to it.