Calm

Calm, so calm, very coherent and obedient. 

He sat in the chair for more than an hour, looking out the window until he fell asleep. He did his breathing exercises without resistance. I fell asleep too, though I don’t remember any dreams. Realized, I haven’t been remembering any dreams lately, perhaps because this whole experience already feels like one.

Last night, around 3:00 a.m., I went out to brush my teeth and decided to wander through the building. It was empty, it felt as if I was inside an Edward Hoper painting. The view into the atrium looked even more majestic. 

Today, there are fewer visitors than yesterday. The afternoon feels peaceful and quiet. Everything is calm, very calm.

I sat down in front of the water fountain to eat. A small caterpillar was crawling across the table, carrying a leaf. From where I was sitting, it looked like it might take an eternity for it to reach the other side, yet it kept moving. It felt like a perfect metaphor.

I’ve been trying to remind JC that he is moving at a different pace now, in a different time altogether, something I have to remind myself of over and over again.