Sabado -

A little setback in JC’s health progress. Lydia is nervous and anxious; she didn’t get any sleep at all. I keep telling her that infections are expected, but I completely understand her frustration. 

JC seemed good when I saw him today, more alert, less sleepy, but his spirit, the light in his eyes seems absent, and I wonder if this is also what Lydia is really worried about.

Last week, he seemed more like his old self, but now he’s more withdrawn and flat. He barely laughed at the sitcoms we watched and seemed interested only in having a drink or getting to sleep, only talks about immediate needs. I also learned that they are giving him medication for anxiety because he’s been having some night terrors. Wonder if the medication is fucking up with his mind. It’s all very stressful. I feel for him, the mother who refuses to leave him alone, which is really affecting her health now, and for Lydia.

The mother and I have finally met eye to eye. I took a step back and she read the message. Without speaking about it, now we both understand. This is no longer a daughter-in-law relationship. I am here now, as HIS friend. We have been part of each other’s lives since childhood and closer than our own siblings, I feel she recognizes it now. 

I’ve promised Lydia I’ll help her next week, I initially said I’d only do Monday, but now I think I’ll stay until Thursday. She needs to focus on her job. I can do my job from the hospital. 

Doug has been asking me to come paint and I thought about going tomorrow but decided to stay here instead, go to a coffee shop, read or start reading a new book....then spend the rest of the day painting! catch up on the oil painting. On Sunday, I’ll either stay and keep painting or I can go to the other studio and continue the other painting. I must!