Friday, December 26, 2025

The morning after…

I woke up feeling overstuffed and dull. I lay on my phone, scrolling through photos by Anna Biret, after I learned she had passed away.

Looking at her images, thinking about how much she traveled to capture so much beauty. When suddenly something  caught my eye.

Is raining, the sky is grey and heavy with clouds. Yet, there it was: a bright, solitary star, shining on its own. It was very big and bright. I was puzzled. I thought it was an aircraft but it wasn’t moving. 

I stared at it with sleepy eyes. It shone like a star impossibly close. I looked for my glasses and couldn’t find them. Walked towards the window to get a closer look. Still there, shining brightly. 

I thought of getting my binoculars, but remembered they were downstairs in the garage. I thought, at least I can go get my glasses and went to look for them.

When I returned, the shining object was gone. 

It made me think of a children’s story about the magic that might happen after Christmas, once the holiday climax has passed and everyone is left feeling dull and overstuffed.


The Morning after… 

Out of the blue, a bright star appeared in the sky, as if from nowhere. She thought it was strange. It was cloudy and raining ☔️ She looked for her glasses and couldn’t find them anywhere. Then the doorbell rang. 

Who could it be, so early in the morning? Another Amazon package perhaps? 

She looked through the peephole of the door. There was no one there. She opened the door and on the doorstep, she found a white envelope, unaddressed. She opened it. Inside was a folded sheet of white paper with nothing written on it, only a small, round leaf, green and yellow

to be continued...


Tuesday, December 23, 2025

2025 to 2026

 Numbers don’t mean anything anyways… 

that’s what I tell myself when I don’t want to think about time, years, age. 

Everything in this world is measured in numbers! how hold are you? how much you make? how many kids? how many years experience? 

Numbers…is all about numbers in this world.  

I am 52 sitting in a coffee shop, I used to listen to jazz music here… before covid. 

I am having One beer. 

Is December 23 

Today I Got a xmas bonus in the shape of Amazon gift cards. To force me to shop some crap online. Uff! Can’t buy art supplies in Amazon. Will spend it probably in furniture for my art studio. 

Today, I randomly picked  The Rainbow Stories by William T. Vollman. I should’ve brought my own book, but I left in a hurry... 

they are closing in 10 minutes… 

numbers again!! 




Monday, December 1, 2025

De la nada vine y a la nada me voy

 Es importante hacer una anotación, sobre el agujero en el que me metí. Primero, por curiosidad, después por puro entretenimiento y ya por último, porque quería ser parte de ellos! 🫢 Madre mía! Como carajos caí allí? es importante recalcar, que yo misma me había convencido, del efecto positivo, cuando los síntoma de soledad y aislamiento se apoderaron de mi, en el verano más largo de 2025. Una depresión como las viejas, igual de intensa. Enfundada en una neblina no encontré salida. Las voces, que salían del Iphone, sonaban como mis tías, como mi abuela. Otras como mis hermanas o mis amigas. Esa voces llegaron como agua a las flores que a punto de marchitarse. Pero me expuse demasiado. Perdi control y dejé que el drama me controlara a mí. Hoy lo observé de manera muy objetiva. Lo corté del todo. Ya no más. 

Anoche soñé que subía al segundo piso de un edificio a jugar con los niños, pero la cara no era la mía. La tenía bastante distorsionada. Me habían injectado algo, y los ojos los tenía torcidos. Les pregunté a los niños que me habían hecho, nadia me decía. Les pregunté si me veía más joven o más vieja, y no me respondían.   

Hoy entendí como pego bien cabal con le del tiktok. Vi las señales rojas!! Adiós desmota barato! Adiós jaula de las locas!! Desgraciadamente, no solo las voces se parecen, son los mismos pleitos, por estupideces, la misma hipocresía, sociedad tóxica que me comenzó a intoxicar a mí. Porque de pronto yo ya estaba participando, exponiéndome, como bruta! Pero me paré ya! Me olvidaran en 3 días! Porque nadan en el drama, y siempre hay una ola nueva, que surfear… de la nada vine y a la nada me voy!!